In the first Liberated Mind blog article, I explored a foundational question: What are values? I argued that values are a guide. They are the journey, not the destination. They orient where we ought to go.
Today, let’s look at how those values intersect with the reality of our daily schedules. We live in a culture that champions business. But as we navigate anxiety, depression, or major life transitions, we often discover a hard truth: there is a profound difference between simply filling your time, and filling your time with things that matter.
Chopping Wood and Carrying Water
There is a well-known Zen proverb that goes: “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”
When we talk about “living intentionally” or pursuing a values-based life, it is easy to accidentally romanticize it. We might trick ourselves into believing that once we finally figure out our purpose, every moment of every day will feel profound and exhilarating.
The reality? Before you discover your values: do the laundry, commute in traffic, answer emails, pay the bills. After you discover your values: do the laundry, commute in traffic, answer emails, pay the bills.
Life consists of daily tasks that are not always a lot of “fun.” If we get stuck thinking that the “chopping wood and carrying water” parts of our day are just pointless obstacles standing in the way of our real life, we will spend most of our existence feeling resentful and hollow.
The Middle Way: Acceptance and Meaning
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we look for the middle way. We have to learn how to keep life’s necessary obligations from robbing us of our overarching meaning.
This requires two shifts in perspective:
- Accepting the mundane: Recognizing that obligation and routine are a necessary part of the human experience. When you wash the dishes, you can spend the whole time being angry that you have to wash the dishes, or you can practice being present. You can connect that mundane action to the value of caring for your home or providing for your family.
- Scheduling the meaningful: While we must accept the necessary chores, we cannot let them monopolize our existence. We must consciously allocate pockets of our week to the highly meaningful activities that actually recharge our souls.
When you intentionally engage in a meaningful activity, whether that is creating art, deep conversation, or spiritual practice, you aren’t just passing the time. You are proving to yourself that your life has direction. You are balancing the necessary with the profound.
Finding Your Equilibrium Here in Utah
Whether you are navigating a difficult life transition near our Salt Lake City office, managing relationship struggles down in St. George, or joining us via telehealth from anywhere else in Utah, the environment around us offers a canvas for this work.
Utah provides incredible opportunities to connect with nature, family, and community. But if we spend our hike in the Wasatch mountains mentally stressing about Monday’s inbox, we miss the meaning. Living intentionally means carrying the water when it is time to carry the water, and being fully present for the hike when it is time to hike.
Where to Start
- Audit Your Time: Look at your calendar from last week. How much of it was spent on autopilot? How much was necessary obligation, and how much was deeply meaningful?
- Change Your Relationship to the Chores: Pick one mundane task you dislike (your commute, folding laundry). This week, try to drop the internal struggle against it. Practice being mindful in the moment, acknowledging it as just a necessary part of maintaining your life.
- Take Committed Action: Pick one value we discussed previously. Schedule just one hour this week dedicated exclusively to that value. Protect that time fiercely from the demands of “busyness.”
Sometimes the relationship between our values and our schedule flows nicely. Sometimes, it is a struggle. Both are natural. The trick is to keep checking in, and remember that you don’t have to navigate that struggle alone.
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This post does not constitute therapeutic counseling or advice; the contents of this post are provided as a learning resource. We share the contents hoping that if you are in need of mental health support you will reach out to us directly or to a mental health professional in your area.
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